Tuesday Tea Time!

 Hiya Tuesday Tea Timers!

I have found it hard to know what to write about today. My friend EH has been blogging her experience after the death of her baby Alexander Scott in July. I thanked her just the other day for her writing. EH is a wonderful poetic writer who is able to put things into words that I did not seem to know what to do with originally. I wanted to remain optimistic and seem hopeful. I am an optimistic person and I am hopeful.

However hard I may try to mask the continuation of grief over the death of my Kaia Gene, there are days that emotions run heavy. It is hard to imagine that I could have a daughter that it is anywhere between 1 1/2 months old to 6 1/2 months old. It is hard to imagine all of the belongings that I would be using right now to clothe her, feed her. and bathe her. It is hard to imagine the restless nights many and most young parents experience.

These pieces are not our reality. Kaia Gene did not live beyond one day. If you follow my blog or know my story you know that she came incredibly prematurely. And there's no reason that any of that happened as it did. So I have hope. I choose to celebrate life. This has been a choice I have made since I was a young girl. I celebrate the life of Kaia Gene, Heather, Alexander Scott, and of the many other infant deaths I have heard about since Kaia's death. Yes it is overwhelming to know how many people are grieving the death of an infant. 

It is also joyously overwhelming to know how many people are celebrating a recent announcement of pregnancies & healthy births. One colleague recently announced her pregnancy with twins and then another with her second pregnancy. I also celebrate the many babies that were born within a month before Kaia's original due date or just shortly there after. I celebrate the many babies that will be born, from close lifelong friends, in the next month or two.

Yes, some days are heavier than others. Optimism and hope always win out for me. However this has been a great lesson in showing myself grace and accepting that, and hoping for, grace from those I work and live with in community. For more insight on this journey be sure to check out ErinHaligowski.WordPress.com.

Tuesday Tea Time!

As the IN August sun set over the farm, I knew in my heart that everything was alright. We had just finished celebrating the memorial service for Kaia Gene. Surrounded by family & friends we acknowledged that there was nothing right or easy about what we were doing, but we know that Kaia Gene has been redeemed and called by God.

 

This past Friday we buried Kaia Gene next to my cousin Heather. Heather was stillborn 48 years ago and never had been given a memorial where her mother, my aunt, could be present. I shared at the memorial service, for both Kaia and Heather, that there is nothing easy about the stories that surround the death of a child, but that it is easy to honor the memories of these dead children simply by hearing their stories. It is important to provide space in life for us to feel uncomfortable about real life events, such as the death of a child, & to share this space together.

Friday night we shared that space together. That space in which we share life's hardships and uncomfortable places is holy space. Though I was woken up the night after Kaia was born with the verses of Job running through my head, I know just as Job knew, that still we are to give praise to God because we are alive to do so.

Today I give my praise to God for new opportunities, new relationships, and the undying love God continues to show us through God's people & creation. As the IN August sun set over the farm, I knew in my heart, my head, & my very being, that everything was all right.

Tuesday Tea Time!

Happy August everyone!

I'm honored to be back to guest blog for Juls. The last time I was here it was the dead of fall, my favorite time of year. Now I'm just crossing my fingers that the Virginia heat wave gives us a break sooner rather than later.

My previous post spoke of self care, even amidst busy life seasons. Over the last 6 months I've been growing my professional life but also dedicating time to things I am passionate about on a personal level.

I recently launched This Is Infertility, a way to honor my and my husband's journey through infertility. The stories have flooded in and I'm grateful to have a moment in time to read the voices of others and hear their perspective. While they may be small glimpses into their journey, I'm reminded of the power of dialogue, and storytelling, and hard truths.

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable." -David Ausburger

As I go through my days, I try to remember to allow others to be heard. To embrace their truths, their journey, and their hardships. Sometimes that means quietly listening, sometimes it means offering a hug, and even sometimes it means just simply validating their truth with your words.

I find that as I become more intentional in how I listen, others are more willing to open up. And in turn, understanding of the different journeys we experience flourishes.

How can you make sure someone is heard today?

(and therefore loved.)

Oh! And my tea recommendation this week? A classic Earl Grey with a pinch of sugar with a side of a lemon wedge.

Warmly,

Lacey

Tuesday Tea Time!

Hello Tuesday Tea Timers!

Northern MI has finally been kissed with a touch of true Spring weather. It's amazing the buzz of energy this brings to everybody & everything. We're eager to celebrate the warm weather & all that it brings. We've already been enjoying the usual Spring cleaning pieces of switching out our wardrobes, sweeping out the garage, putting the cushions on the patio furniture, & taking longer walks with the furbaby.

Over the past several weeks one of the biggest blessings has been people sharing their stories of life with me. The stories have spanned the ages, years, & topics. They have all been raw with life & spirit, & the sharing created sparkle.

For decades it's been taboo to talk about the loss of a baby (at any stage), mental health complications, & much of life. We seem to make these taboo pieces taboo simply by not sharing our stories around them. The reality is though, even if our stories are that we don't have words to tell our stories, that is our story. There are great stories told in the silence & sighs of life, as well as in the the screams & exclamations.

My story, in just the last year or so, has been greatly impacted by the realities of a loved one living with mental health complications that have rocked our world. And if you've been following tea times recently, you know that last month I delivered our first baby extremely prematurely resulting in her death & the loss of a piece of our hearts. We are a living taboo & our stories are one in a million.

Thank you to all for sharing the deep, below the surface realities of life with me. We learn how to react & care for one another in the taboos of life, when we live through these moments together. Living through these moments with y'all near & far is a blessed time of sharing our hearts with one another.

Tuesday Tea Time!

 Hiya Tuesday Tea Timers!

What a wild ride of life over the past month, to say the least. Many of you have joined in the abundance of tea consuming & good life discussions that can do nothing other than deepen relationships. Thank you for being part of community. As my friend, colleague, & mentor Dr. Terri Elton, has said about me, I thrive on community. Being part of a community that works to exist for the sake of each other is key to many a persons, if not all, well being.

For now our space for Kaia is complete. In its current state, 1 month after her birth & death, it has almost the most decor it will have. Providing friends come forward with art they wanted to make for baby Kaia, those pieces will be added to her memory space. In a few months we'll bury her ashes, and in due time her future siblings will be gifted the use & play of the books, blankets, & Beatrix Potter stuffed animals. The pieces that will always be a part of her space in our home will be her name blocks, framed foot print piece, a glass cross from the funeral home, a ceramic angel from her Papau's pharmacy co-workers, a few knit pieces, and a gifted piece of art or two.

The pieces have come together for today. Our baby Kaia rests peacefully in our hearts & more literally in the heavens around us with God who holds us all together (despite our attempts to break apart) & even more literally in her small pearl urn on the cedar chest in our room. We drink our tea & move along one day at a time.

Tuesday Tea Time!

Tuesday Tea Time!

Hello tea time friends. Have you ever had the experience of watching something on tv & then watching it come to life right in front of you? We all know the things we watch on tv are based from someone's (or perhaps many a someones) real life story (& the pieces of many stories). It's not often we actually believe our lives could become a piece of such story telling.

So much life has happened in the last year that not only have we joked about a movie or a book, but others have even suggested it. While we choose to acknowledge the hardships, celebrate the joys, & continue into the tomorrows, it's hard to imagine our crazy wonderful challenges as captivating for an actual media story. We've been friends since the Fall of 2009, a couple since the beginning of 2010, & JZ since Summer 2011. 2015 was a year of one scary life piece after another (ya know, mental health diagnosis, a few change of jobs, multiple moves, glamping & a trip to Japan) & then, just when we didn't think more excitement could be had in a year, we found out we were pregnant.

2016 is a new adventure with names to many of the wild life challenges, but yet much of the pieces leave us wondering. The wonderful pieces leave us to dream. And pieces of those dreams will become reality & we'll have new unnamed pieces that send us into further wonderings. The named pieces will give us the grounding we need to move forward one day at a time, piece by piece. And so we go with the courage to be (& simply be) & Life, Spirit, Sparkle as our guide.

For a glimpse of what we watched the night before Kaia was born & in our recovering days since, check out PBS/BBC Call The Midwife.

Tuesday Tea Time!

Hiya Tuesday Tea Timers!

I'm back from all my really big adventures & now just onto another new big adventure or two.

A HUGE thank you to those who filled in while I was gone. If you haven't checked them out, do so! Timothy Siburg blogs weekly - on valuable topics such as stewardship, leadership, & vocation - Britta Gene is an active artist with a heart for poetry (this month's photo - look at todays photo - is her photography work), & Lacey is a doula with a passion for living fully.

I'm so thankful for these friends in my life that live literally from one side of the country to the next. My heart is full by their sharing of their stories & by the amazing things that I got to add to my story while having these friends fill in on Tuesday Tea Time.

I hope you all found it refreshing to have some different voices present!

Coming up on Tuesday Tea Times will be some sharing of my adventures - like the day we walked nearly 13 miles in one day - & I'm sure some new things too.

We saw & experienced some really wonderful things while traveling the world, but mostly it was a time to visit family & hang out & rest. The biggest piece for me was officially being offered a new call & accepting it. So we're in a time of moving yet again.

May you warm drink - because the days have been quite chilly - warm your hands & your soul & keep you breathing deep with me as we go one day at a time.

One Word 365: heart

My heart, a fragile strength inside me.

My heart, sometimes, though not often, on my sleeve.

My heart, faded in pieces, yet beaming all together.

My heart, always room to grow into new tomorrows.

My heart, the pieces of my heart.

Some times typing or saying the same word so many times makes me second guess my spelling or pronunciation. Heart is not only my One Word 365 word for 2015, it is part of my motto. Though, living with my "heart out" has not been much of a challenge. I've come to find I may be a bit of a bleeding heart sort of person. I give life all my heart as it is too precious of a gift to treat it any other way.

My heart has been made happy by the genuine person asking "how are you?" & patiently waiting for a reply. While they may have already jumped to conclusions of how they think I should be, it is only fair to give me my voice & let me answer - as is everybody's right for their own heart story. So thank you to those who ask & patiently wait for my heart story.

My heart has been made loopy, heavy, & relieved by my recent story. The loopy is no wonder when things have been heavy yet relieving all at the same time as of late. Ah, breathe in the pieces of life transitions!

We move forward day by day with our "Head Up. Heart out. Move to the Beat." motto helping to shape each day.

Friday Favorites!

Today being Good Friday & barely warm enough to wear shoes that I could show off the tp of my foot & therefore tattoo, I gladly did just that. But today my tattoo struck my story a bit different.

After studying a semester in Scotland I felt drawn to my second tattoo, but it would be three years before I entered that tattoo parlor in WI. I had decided even before leaving Scotland that this Celtic knot would be a symbol of my faith carrying me through the most freeing experience of my life up to that point. The dots, that represent the nails placed into Jesus' at his crucifixion, were a last minute decision.

Why would I want such a reminder? Because the promise of life, symbolized within the knot, is what is lived out by the cross & the nails that carry us to the empty tomb.

Good Friday it is!

Tuesday Tea Time!

Hiya Tuesday Tea Timers!

Check out these fabulously 'English' tea pots!

Something tells me that not many people in England actually own teapots like this unless they collect teapots. You can possibly guess that this photo was taken in a store due to the lineup & multitude of the teapots.

Isn't it funny the items country themed stores sell that represents an entire country? 

Yet again remembering my time in Scotland several years ago, the one thing my friends & I could come up with that was uniquely from the United States was a peanut butter & jelly sandwich. However I don't see stores selling pb&j sandwiches except for maybe at stores like American Spoon. American Spoon is more distinctly Michigan & that is just a piece of the USA.

All these pieces make up a people & people have stories that make up a country. Some of these story pieces are more often shared than others & then we get crazy themed teapots representing an entire country of people & their stories.

Crazy! But as Alice Kingsley said, "...You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are!"

Tuesday Tea Time!

Tuesday Tea Time!

Z & I have been home for just over a day from a wonderful time at the Extravaganza (aka E) for our second time together.

This year the theme of the event was Story. It was beautifully down to earth & such a gift to be able to experience the many stories shared.

The stories were shared by people such as the presiding Bishop of the ELCA, Elizabeth Eaton & well known author Walt Wangrin. There were also stories from Mikka McCracken & Lost & Found.

And most near & dear to heart the stories where shared amongst long time friends & mentors & new to the scene friends too.

Story, we all have many. There is one story though that connected those of us gathered at the E. The story of God made flesh. And there was no doubt that the Spirit was at work throughout the stories that were shared of great joy, sorrow, struggle, new life, & many hopes for the future.

This theme of Story will continue throughout the year as we prepare for the ELCA Youth Gathering & while Practice Discipleship events happen throughout the country. While these stories are shared keep a listening ear & open heart for how God is using you in the story of life.

One colleague shared, "Knowing your story, makes my story better!" While I found this to be true for every story shared at the E, know that many people feel the same way about your story & there are many people waiting to listen.

Friday Favorites!

While it's been a rather damp week here, MG has LOVED sitting outside for hours & hours. While the rain doesn't really seem to bother her, we are thankful for a roof over our front porch. Her love for the outside has gotten me out of the house more too & that's always appreciated.

Speaking of being wet, I have officially been nominated to do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. My friend AN nominated anybody who watched her video last week & that was easy to ignore. However, last night my name was called out & tagged on at least 2 social media venues by my friends that I worked with at MLC. While I accept the challenge & donate to ALS research for better treatments etc., I simply want to acknowledge the numerous & diverse needs out there for donations to research for all diseases.

As the first child in the USA to have gone through treatment for 2 types - ALL & EHE - of cancer at the same time, I cannot ignore this need. I also cannot ignore this need because of stories like this one from my friend KJ. Whatever the cause may be, share your story!

Share your story. Your voice matters.

...and if ya want, dump a bucket of ice water over your head too.

Tuesday Tea Time!

Tuesday Tea Time!

Good morning! This morning I come to you with HIGH ENERGY tea that seemed needed for the second gray day in a row. Thankfully today it is raining! I don't know about you, but I deal better with the cloud cover when it brings rain (or snow). While I don't think I would do well living in an area like the Pacific Northwest, I do enjoy a rainy day.

As I continue to process my summer working at camp I'm simply amazed at the people I've met & the good they share with the world. Thus today I was inspired to use this giant "Good morning" mug. No, I can't read every language on the mug, but I honestly believe I know enough people that working together we could decipher every language shared on this mug.

Who's up for the challenge?!

It's interesting the things or people that make you share different pieces of your past. It was easily the second to last week at camp & I made a nonchalant comment about when I was in  SE Asia. I hadn't realized this was a piece of my past that just hadn't come up in the conversations with staff over the summer. This is the beauty of relationship though. As Z & I have learned from our grandparents, you may know a person for 70+ years & you will still never know everything about them.

Surprise somebody today with a piece of your story you haven't shared recently or maybe ever! And while you're doing that, enjoy your tea time!

Sunday Snippits:

Happy Sunday!

This past week is good, bad, & ugly - as usual. Life is an adventure!

GOOD: The week started with some slightly warmer temps & March is definitely proving to be more sun shine filled than February. Tuesday was a sad & joyful celebration of TE's life. Wednesday was busy preparing to drive to hoosierland for the weekend. While in hoosierland I was spoiled by my family & friends. I enjoyed surprising my life long best friend , BGEG, at the local coffee shop as she & family were carrying in her artwork to set up her show. The baby gender revealing party KZ-S & momma & papa E held was a delight to be at. The revealing came through popping balloons with confetti the "gender appropriate color" inside. It's a girl! Then today I learned another childhood good friend is also having a baby girl. 2014 truly is the year of many babies from my peers. And let me not forget getting to worship with my brother's "praise band" & then go back to a St. Patty's day celebration with family & close friends.

BAD: The further North I drove today the deeper the snow got. While I was gone it rained & snowed. Ah the life of living in the Great North! I'm too tired from travel to remember much of anything else right now.

UGLY: In lieu of the fact that we are currently watching 12 Years a Slave. Modern day slavery & discrimination. While the movie is based on a true story that is over 100 years old, the hatred for people who are different that oneself & a ridiculous sense of entitlement is all too common.

WORD: Last night I heard a version of the story of Paul on the road to Damascus like I've never heard. One thing that struck me was that Paul was never actually mentioned. While the speaker started with a focus on washing the mud from our eyes he turned the focus into shaving & the fact that "Jesus shaves & saves" & we need to put on the "aftershave of life." Yup!

coming up: Prepping for a few different job things, dancing, singing, enjoying the sunshine!

Tuesday Tea Time!

Credit given to Miss Voodoo's Tattoos

Tuesday Tea Time!

Today Tea Time comes with a snoring puppy pressed against my side. She's taken to her morning nap being on my lap or as close to me as she can get. Thankfully, I'm able to get a few things done despite the puppy's closeness.

It's so fun when I Google "Tea Time" for an image & up comes something I've never seen before! While I do have a couple of tattoos & have thought about getting another, I have NEVER thought about having a Tea Time tattoo.

This tattoo is rather impressive simply knowing how hard it is to keep hand/finger tattoos looking fresh. Each tattoo has a story & I would love to know more about this tattoo or the plethora of other tea time tattoos that show up on Google images.

Frown at the idea of marking up one's body permanently or embrace it, either way it's a piece of art that's not going anywhere.

That's a splash with Tuesday Tea Time! What's in your mug?