One more day of classes till a week off, 2 days for some. Then a few days with people around till everybody heads home or somewhere to meet with family for Thanksgiving.
Last week I celebrated 18 years since I was diagnosed with cancer. It was a lovely day of working the info desk. and then meeting up with friends to go for ice cream (which I do every year) and after that Chinese food and a showing of Princess Bride in the apartment. It's always a bit of a weird time of reflection for me, but knowing that I'm still kicking & breathing and through the grace of God I'm forgiven of all my daily inequities that I must keep going forward as best as I know how. It's also a blessing that I always have friends, new and old, that celebrate with me.
Some days it doesn't seem like I know how to keep kicking and breathing, but let's admit it, I'm a feisty person who even when I'm in a super funk or feelin' low I find something to laugh about or be cheerful about. A lot of the time it's at myself for being ridiculous, for not treating every day like it's a new start. Moving the furthest away from home has proved to be a great challenge as I can't just go home on a weekend. I could clearly get in my car, drive 9-10 hours on a Friday, spend Saturday in IN and drive back on Sunday, but that would not be relaxing in any way. I miss my Bert and Alissa and my cousins and a lot of other people too & the cornfields. I miss the adventure that my life held a year ago, I miss the people I've lived with in the last couple of years. Here I go focusing on all the things that I can't change, except for they are the things and the people that have changed me.
Recently I've been asked to tell my call story a few times or with my anniversary last week, to share a part of my past that has helped shape who I am in a great way. When I tell about how I got to where I am today I know that I'm where God wants me and all I can remember is the peace that I felt when I made the decision to be here a year and a half ago. It's not just that I felt that peace when I decided to go on New Dawn last year, but my teammates did as well when they made their decision. When you're living in intentional community you think you're crazy and you long to have your own agenda. Now that I'm not living in intentional community I miss the things that drove my teammates and I crazy, like check-ins and the atmosphere where you had to know how people were doing beyond saying "I'm fine or good or great" and knowing why. Don't get me wrong, I have friends to check in with both here and those friends that I had to do that with for a year.
The other day in chapel we sang "Seek Ye First." Simple words, with not always a simple action, but something that I strive for everyday and hope to exemplify in my actions and words. Remembering that peace is a safe place. So when I don't feel like I can keep kicking I remember God's peace and the push of the Holy Spirit and know that I have to keep going to serve Jesus as he served us.