Tuesday Tea Time!

 Hiya Tuesday Tea Timers!

I have found it hard to know what to write about today. My friend EH has been blogging her experience after the death of her baby Alexander Scott in July. I thanked her just the other day for her writing. EH is a wonderful poetic writer who is able to put things into words that I did not seem to know what to do with originally. I wanted to remain optimistic and seem hopeful. I am an optimistic person and I am hopeful.

However hard I may try to mask the continuation of grief over the death of my Kaia Gene, there are days that emotions run heavy. It is hard to imagine that I could have a daughter that it is anywhere between 1 1/2 months old to 6 1/2 months old. It is hard to imagine all of the belongings that I would be using right now to clothe her, feed her. and bathe her. It is hard to imagine the restless nights many and most young parents experience.

These pieces are not our reality. Kaia Gene did not live beyond one day. If you follow my blog or know my story you know that she came incredibly prematurely. And there's no reason that any of that happened as it did. So I have hope. I choose to celebrate life. This has been a choice I have made since I was a young girl. I celebrate the life of Kaia Gene, Heather, Alexander Scott, and of the many other infant deaths I have heard about since Kaia's death. Yes it is overwhelming to know how many people are grieving the death of an infant. 

It is also joyously overwhelming to know how many people are celebrating a recent announcement of pregnancies & healthy births. One colleague recently announced her pregnancy with twins and then another with her second pregnancy. I also celebrate the many babies that were born within a month before Kaia's original due date or just shortly there after. I celebrate the many babies that will be born, from close lifelong friends, in the next month or two.

Yes, some days are heavier than others. Optimism and hope always win out for me. However this has been a great lesson in showing myself grace and accepting that, and hoping for, grace from those I work and live with in community. For more insight on this journey be sure to check out ErinHaligowski.WordPress.com.

Sunday Snippits: One Word 365 Update

What?! No GOOD, BAD, & UGLY?

I'm multitasking!

When I chose my One Word as healthy, I meant it in a holistic way, but with a special emphasis in the emotional department.

Hi, I am a forever optimist who struggles sitting with people - including myself - in the gray times of life.

There's SO much life to be lived that I don't see the point in living in the gray times more than than the clear sparkly times. However, as I've mentioned recently, I am living in a time of limbo. I'm working a couple of different jobs & applying for others & praying for what path I should follow. I can't escape the gray.

This forever optimism comes from a lot of gray in my childhood. I like to see people happy so I figure if I share a smile then it can hide the gray.

It doesn't fix the gray, but it makes me feel good.

Thus why on the usual Sunday Snippits, I ALWAYS have a LOT more to say for the GOOD than I do for the bad or ugly.

Living healthy is hard, but beautiful!