Tuesday Tea Time!

Hiya Tuesday Tea Time Friends!

I really meant to rock 'n roll for every Tuesday in November, but then life happened & I didn't have a piece of art to share & so on & so on.

This past year has been incredibly unbelievable in so many ways. It really goes back further than that for Z & I, but that's not worth rehashing at this point. After going through the birthing process at such a premature stage for both myself & Kaia people (mainly medical professionals) would ask, "Are you ready to have another baby?" They weren't being pushy, they were being realistic that I (& Z) may not be mentally ready, but that our bodies would be physically doing their normal things.

When would we ever be mentally ready? Our first born, who was quite the surprise, broke our hearts in all the best ways. Kaia broke our hearts by being in my womb & making us grow in love for one another. Kaia broke our hearts the day she was born & we knew we could not force life on to her. Kaia broke our hearts in the memories & stories that we now hold so dearly. Kaia broke our hearts to be more raw, vulnerable, & giving. So much of what we do as a couple we do in honor or memory of Kaia. The reality is we would never be mentally ready for another baby & we knew it. We also felt, months ago, that the best way to honor Kaia was to make her a big sister.

We have no idea what the health of this rainbow baby will be or if it'll even prove to really be a rainbow. But we have hope, lots & lots of hope. We are filled with joy & fear all at the same time. While I found that I could barely hold the news in after finding out at such an early stage (week 4 or 5), when it actually came time to share the news I was very anxious. It wasn't worry about what people may think or say, it was the "what if" game that we so often do with ourselves. It was & is truly a relief to share the news of our rainbow baby & receive the support & prayers & silliness that comes with letting people know. It is another life & it is worth celebrating, just as we celebrate its big sister Kaia.

A lot of the last year has hurt emotionally, physically, & all around just hurt. And there will be more hurt in the future, but we have a choice to either let that bring us down or build us up & we choose to let it build us up. We look up for the rainbow.

Tuesday Tea Time!

 Hiya Tuesday Tea Timers!

I have found it hard to know what to write about today. My friend EH has been blogging her experience after the death of her baby Alexander Scott in July. I thanked her just the other day for her writing. EH is a wonderful poetic writer who is able to put things into words that I did not seem to know what to do with originally. I wanted to remain optimistic and seem hopeful. I am an optimistic person and I am hopeful.

However hard I may try to mask the continuation of grief over the death of my Kaia Gene, there are days that emotions run heavy. It is hard to imagine that I could have a daughter that it is anywhere between 1 1/2 months old to 6 1/2 months old. It is hard to imagine all of the belongings that I would be using right now to clothe her, feed her. and bathe her. It is hard to imagine the restless nights many and most young parents experience.

These pieces are not our reality. Kaia Gene did not live beyond one day. If you follow my blog or know my story you know that she came incredibly prematurely. And there's no reason that any of that happened as it did. So I have hope. I choose to celebrate life. This has been a choice I have made since I was a young girl. I celebrate the life of Kaia Gene, Heather, Alexander Scott, and of the many other infant deaths I have heard about since Kaia's death. Yes it is overwhelming to know how many people are grieving the death of an infant. 

It is also joyously overwhelming to know how many people are celebrating a recent announcement of pregnancies & healthy births. One colleague recently announced her pregnancy with twins and then another with her second pregnancy. I also celebrate the many babies that were born within a month before Kaia's original due date or just shortly there after. I celebrate the many babies that will be born, from close lifelong friends, in the next month or two.

Yes, some days are heavier than others. Optimism and hope always win out for me. However this has been a great lesson in showing myself grace and accepting that, and hoping for, grace from those I work and live with in community. For more insight on this journey be sure to check out ErinHaligowski.WordPress.com.

Friday Favorite!

 Happy Good Friday! Today is not just any Friday for thousands of people around the world. It is Good Friday. A day that Christians come together in a solemn service to acknowledge the sacrifice of God's son Jesus for ALL of humanity.

Take that in. Believe it if you can.

On this Good Friday I will attend worship later this evening & be as productive as I can be in the mean time.

Yesterday our mail delivery person rang the doorbell in the midst of a little afternoon cleaning. My hands were clad in beautiful yellow rubber gloves that are slightly too big for me & soaked in dirty dish water. Thankfully Z was home & so he was able to answer the door in the midst of his drying of the dishes. When the mail deliverer rings the doorbell it usually means something fun has come that's too big to be put in our mail box.

This week that surprise was an Easter "basket" from Ma & Pa N. Since we were in the middle of dishes we decided to set the box aside & finish that part of our chores before opening the mail. When we were done we went to open the box & other envelopes only to find our little fur baby perched on top of the box in the chair. Sadly for Michi there was nothing specific for her in the box, but she did snatch a crumb or two from Z's cookies he was enjoying. 

May this Good Friday be a day of reflection & a day of waiting for the known Surprise that comes Sunday morning.

One Word 365: Healthy

So I've tried to do a bit of weaving in my healthy updates with my regular blog postings, but today deserves its own post.

Spring is finally showing its damp & sunny self! This is very good for the soul after a long cold snowy snowy winter. However, my soul is a mixture of emotions & feelings right now.

This particular season of Lent has been heavy on the side of death. End of life, no matter the age, is hard to grasp for those of us left living. This week marked the 5th person in a circle of my life who died. He was just a year behind me in school & his sister a year ahead. We were all friends through church & living in a small town. I can't quite put my mind around the pain his family is living with right now, but my heart is heavy & sad for them & his friends. Be sure to tell those you love that you love them whenever you have the chance & I hope you take this chance weekly if not daily.

Then there's the pieces of light & happiness & hope. Today I enjoyed tea with two of TE's daughter's & friends. The best part was watching TO (TE's daughter) lead a cute Pinterest art project with her not quite one year old daughter. She painted little CO's feet to press onto the pallet for flower leaves & her hands for petals. Her best friend since first grade was there too & lead the project with her little one who's 2 years old. It was just a sweet piece of my day that I'm thankful for. I also am thankful for the random phone convos with family members & my life long friends as of late. Oh & the joy of hosting, I really love sharing the simple peaces of hospitality with others. Plus hosting a small group from church meant a good reason to make a batch of my favorite chewie cookies & this time (only the second time I've tried making them) they were a success! *The first time they were a bit like eating a cookie brick*

And some of the hope comes from conversations around upcoming jobs. I love working in ministry specifically focused on senior high youth & older. This Summer I get to hone in on my passion & test my skills with Bible studies & the many adventures of being at camp. Yes I'll miss my husband & puppy while I'm gone, but what am I if not my own person?

Physically, the healthy word has not been paired with good things around here lately. There's been head & chest colds & stomach viruses & back problems. All this I stick out my tongue to, do yoga, meditate in the Word, & pray.

and the healthiest thing I've done as of late is remembered to take many a deep breaths throughout each day to acknowledge the life that I am given & the life that I am living & all that I am capable of thanks be to God.

Friday Favorites!

One Billion Rising is a campaign that I learned about just over a year ago & last Friday people, like these two ladies, from all over the world rose for justice because 1 out of every 3 women will experience rape or sexual assault in their lifetime.

Many will never be given the voice to speak up, so we as a community & as a world & as a people rise up together for the voiceless.

Awareness is a key education piece that will help make these numbers of victims less. Using our voice through dance or song or poetry or speech will help with the education & cause awareness to grow. Awareness will cause action. We must stop tragically hurting each other so deeply.

I find my hope in the resurrection of Jesus & God's word from Lamentations. "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in him'" (NRSV Lamentations 3:22-24).

Rise with us Spirit, this I pray!

Friday Foto Favorite

Photo courtesy of Politico

People say that religion & politics shouldn't mix, but the reality is politics are from people & people are who make up religion.

This is a picture of hope.

May the God of peace & understanding give hope to the world in light of this weeks tragedies.

Tuesday Tea Time!

Tuesday Tea Time!

Welcome to my Tuesday morning tea time. Today I'm drinking echinacea tea. While I've been told that echinacea is too medicinal for many, even in smell, I really enjoy it. I especially enjoy the Yogi Tea line (of any tea)!

Last week there was so much excitement that I didn't confess that I had to throw away two travel mugs. Back in April I blogged about leaky travel mugs. Well the purple one kept burning me & the other one was leaking from the bottom of the mug. I know, the fact that I had to throw away 2 of them & still have others is totally a #1stWorldProblem.

WOMP! WOMP!

I now have my small, but trusty, batik travel mug & my large, trusty, sparkly gold travel mug. All that to say, this is not what I was going to blog about this morning! My other ideas will have to wait till another time.

But please, tell me, what do you think about this quote?

"Goodness should become human nature, because it is real in nature."
 Yogi Tea Tag Quote of the day

 Is goodness not human nature?

Check out how the Bible might help: Micah 6:8, the Psalms (14, 23, 31) Romans 8:28, Galatians 5:22, or any others?!

What other sources help us define goodness?

Here's to finding hope in your Tuesday Tea Time!

Friday Photo Reminder

Life is strange & sometimes we feel trapped or stuck, but the incredible sight of life happening around us in other people, animals, & creations such as Ice Castles gives us hope for a free mind & the peace that surpasses all understanding

Photo taken inside the Mall of America Ice Castle

Tuesday Tea Time...even though it's Wednesday

Yesterday was laundry day. You might wonder why this would prohibit me from updating with Tuesday Tea Time. Well one reason is because I did not have internet access on my devices because we were at our family's home & another reason is because I took the day to vege out, in between the mass amounts of laundry (at least 6 loads), & watch Downton Abbey.

Tea Time was rushed though as I woke up groggy from a head cold I've been fighting & had to run errands to get our car to the shop for an oil change. Yesterday I had a nice English Breakfast blend from the Kurig at Mom & Dad N's house & today, as I write, I'm enjoying the second squeeze of a my Tazo decaf chai with a splash of milk & honey.

Tea Time make me take a a few moments in each day to breath deep & sort out my too often cluttered brain.

Tea Time is a time to be thankful for the hopeful moments amidst the despair of life's everyday news.

Boosted by Pub Theology ( with Humble Walk church ) & the discussion of Hope led by a college professor from my time at CAP I ask this week:

Where do you find Hope in your life & what are some ways to cultivate Hope for our communities?

This blog prompted by Capital University pride & ministers now located in MN